Why I Left

In reading blogs of other Christians over the last few months, one topic which I have seen covered with astonishing regularity is the question "Is it okay to leave my church?". The answer given is always "no". I do understand the rationale--I understand it completely, and even teach it--that you need to stay there an enact change from within. If you see (hear?) that the powers that be are playing fast and loose with essential doctrines, then by golly YES you need to say something and say it again. I agree! Do I ever think there's a time to admit that there will be no change and your church is going in a strange direction and nothing you say or do will prevent it and it's time to get out? Yup. This is where I differ from everything else I have read.

I myself have left a couple of churches. One leaving was for geographical reasons, and of course nobody could fault me for that. It was when I went away to college. I left the United Brethren/United Methodist church of my childhood, never to return except as a visitor. In fact, I spent my freshman year at college not attending any church at all. It was my own wimpy little version of teenaged rebellion. But in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years something interesting happened to me--I encountered God one Sunday in a friend's church (the friend had skipped out that morning, and maybe that's why I finally had time to pay attention to Someone Else) and discovered within myself a deep yearning to be part of a Body, to be with God's people. So when I went back to college that fall, I attended the nearest church on campus, and was happy with that for a while.

Then my Very Best Friend Ever invited me to go to her church with her, and I went once and was hooked. It was a small Charismatic church, with small group meetings, and for the first time I was more than just an audience member. I was a participant! And boy did I ever participate. These people were wonderful, and down to earth, and near my age, and I had a blast. The large meetings involved lots of singing and dancing and people speaking out whatever they felt was needed, and I enjoyed myself hugely. I stayed there for maybe three years, and then WHAM! I got hit between the eyes with something that was clearly something else.

A good friend of my Best Friend invited me to his church. The first event I attended was a retreat weekend, and it was a fun, refreshing time with lots of Bible studies and times of solitude and times of hanging out. I really liked it, but the weekend was marred by twenty dollars disappearing out of my purse. I also spent some time arguing Charismatic theology (such as it was) with one of the older females, and it was pretty clear she had no idea what to do with me or why I had shown up to torture her in this way. Poor Judy. I still feel bad about that.

But I went again about a week later, to the large group meeting on Sunday night. There was very little singing, and no dancing at all, and absolutely no words of prophecy. But what there was, was an in-depth Bible teaching. I'd never heard anything like it before. Certainly the Methodists were never like this. I recognized that a very deep need which I'd never before realized existed was being met. Who knew all that was in the Bible? Who knew that regular people could read it and figure it out? Who knew that it could actually direct my life and make a difference in how I thought and acted? Who knew it was alive? I knew I couldn't live without it.

Well, this church did, and despite the fact that more money went missing from my purse, I knew I was on to something. To this day I remain convinced that the petty robberies were Satan's way of trying to keep away from the Bible, but the pull of Truth was too strong for him. He lost. By Christmas of that year I was attending a small home church meeting too, and eventually dragged my Best Friend there to join me, and abandoned the Charismatics.

So that's why I left, and I'm still at that church. It would take quite a shoehorn to get me out of there now. But do I feel I was justified in leaving my old church? Certainly I do. For one thing, I was a spiritual baby. I hadn't the first clue in the world what was really necessary for a good solid Christian walk, and it would never have occurred to me that I wasn't getting it. I had no idea what was missing, and no chance therefore of ever correcting it. It was years before I had that kind of foundation, and of course by then I was long gone. It's probably been a decade since I've seen the guy who got me to my church, but I haven't forgotten. He was a gift from God, and led me to where I needed to be.

If my church started to go in weird directions would I say anything? You betcha. Now I'm old enough that I would know what to do. Fortunately this hasn't been needed. Our elders are very perceptive, and very open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and an intelligent bunch who notice for themselves when something just isn't right. We have an enormous meeting once a year to which the entire church is invited where we hear what's going well, what's going poorly, and what we should probably do about it. The leaders are unusually open to input, and averse to fads. Bless them. Long may they wave.

Next up--do I talk about my crazy baptism, or hymns? Your call.

Love, Spud.